Thursday, September 20, 2007


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Democrats Move To Halt Anti-Terrorism
Dutiful Attorney General of the United States Alberto Gonzales has come under fire for taking bold measures to protect the homeland in our post 9-11 world. Gonzales finally gave way under democratic political torture and admitted to using the essential Patriot Act to collect vital information on terrorists, anti-Americanists, and other radical elements of humanity. "This blows the cat right out of the bag," mourns Carl Abrams commissioner of the Tri-Lateral Bureau on Security Issues. "The more that heroes like Gonzales are forced by Democrats to divulge top secret anti-terror plans, the closer we come to a vast string of unimaginable terrorist attacks."

As the liberal media made a pinata out of Gonzales the congressional Democrats were trying to deport him from the Justice Department simply for doing his sworn duty to protect the constitution from eight activist, slacker attorneys by firing them outright for their flagrant violations of American codes of legal justice. Abrams backs up Gonzales' brave decision by pointing to the facts, "Make no mistake, these were horrible judges. Most of them probably didn't even know how to use a gavel. I hear two of them couldn't even pass a drug test."

White House spokesperson Daniel Bartlett came to Gonzales' defense calling him a, "stand up guy." Many say Gonzales proved that assertion by going on record apologizing for any truths he had to withhold from Congress in the past in order to protect innocent Americans from radical extremists hell bent on harming innocent Americans. Gonzales also went on to show a true sense of decency when he revealed that he kept most of the information regarding the eight fired judges secret because he was protecting the judges from further embarrassment by keeping secret how bad they were as judges.

Logic like this does nothing to extinguish the blazing liberal rage as Independent Congressman James Sensenbrenner took to threatening Gonzales' life by telling him he will, "die by a thousand cuts." Most political analysts have never seen rhetoric this vile. Sensenbrenner ends his tirade by demanding to hear "the truth". What some people are saying to folks like Sensenbrenner is, "You can't handle the truth!"* That truth being which would you rather Attorney General Alberto Gonzales defend: The Constitution or the American people?

* A reference to the famous line from "A Few Good Men" in which Jack Nicholson yells at Tom Cruise during the climax of the courtroom scene. We thought to use that well known line in an entirely different context.

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