Wednesday, November 21, 2007


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Looks like all the writers in Hollywood got together and penned a big, fat flopper-oo. Critics are already calling the Writers Guild of America strike, "The most pointless labor dispute in American history."

Writers are currently doing something that only comes naturally to lazy, "creative" types: refusing to work. Only this time, they're taking the rest of the entertainment industry down with them into slacker oblivion. As an excuse not to work, the writers are demanding that studios and producers pay them money that isn't even being made from DVD sales and so-called Internet downloads.

Many in the liberal media, who want the average hard working American to feel sorry for those who get paid to do something most people do for fun, would like you to believe that America will tailspin when TV shows start going off the air because of the writers strike. We at PLN beg to differ.

If you want a hint regarding the remainder of "Grey's Anatomy's" season, here it is: Everyone who hasn't f**ed yet, does. Anyone interested in FOX's "24" can simply tune into PLN everyday to watch how America really fights the War On Terror. If it's ABC's "Lost" you will miss, you can always watch the Democrats debate.

As for the new shows about to be black-holed into nothingness by the strike, who cares? FOX's "K-Ville" proved that Americans are tired of hearing about Hurricane Katrina, the idea of a superior female had people turning off NBC's "Bionic Woman", and the flopping of ABC's "Caveman" goes to show you what the average American citizen thinks of crazy "evolution fantasies".

Of course the best thing to come out of the writer's strike is the fact that toilet-fodder like "The Daily Show" and "Colbert Report" will be off the air during the elections. This means that the liberal elite won't be able to manipulate American politics through their two most popular mouth pieces.

The main thing going against writers is exactly what's been plaguing them ever since some smart-ass decided to put words on record. When you consider the fact that everything that's ever going to be written already has been, there's really not much point in paying someone to trod out the same old garbage. Add on to that the commonly shared opinion that writing isn't actually work, therefore not something one should be paid for.

As a remedy to the WGA strike PLN will be launching PLTV. Prime Legitimate TV will be an all non-union, mainstream television network to rival ABC, CBS, and FOX. PLTV will combine American production values with Telemundo-like efficiency on a budget that everyone can agree on, or they're fired.

Here's a sample of the new shows ONLY on PLTV:

"So You Think You're A Reality TV Star Who Can Also Dance?"

- Reality stars dance-off in a dance competition judged by other reality stars! More reality than real life!

Dogg: The Bounty Hunter (Second Chance Edition)

- 'Cause everyone except Alec Baldwin deserves a second chance.

Predator House: Raw

- 6 sex predators, one house. You be the judge!

Northern Exposure reruns!

- It's back!

Who Wants A New Face!?

- PLTV is practically GIVING away faces!

Ca-Ching! - The Game Show

- Contestants try to guess which bag has money in it.

PLTV in conjunction with PLN will also be hosting at least 16 more episodes of "The Presidential Debates". Considering the Writers Guild strike, however, Hillary will not be taking any questions from the audience.

Despite all attemps by those who would rather opt out of functional society, TV will be stronger than ever after the debut of PLTV!

Prime Legitimate TV
"The Way It Should Be"

Contact your local cable provider!

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A writer at work.

Thursday, November 1, 2007


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The greatest law enforcement official in American history, with Bernard Kerik coming in a close second, is in the middle of a left wing fire/metal storm and the fight of his career. As the #1 news station on cable network news, we at PLN feel it pertinent to warn you of the left wing tidal-wave style takeovers of our free press like the one in play in Orange County, California right now.

It seems as though a local communist pamphlet which specializes in character assassination, paganistic rituals, and features numerous ads for porno-smut, prostitutes of varying quality, and secret "medical" marijuana drug labs has launched a tsunami uppercut attack against the most uncorruptable police officer since Robocop, Orange County Sheriff Mike Carona. Carona was officially proclaimed "America's Sheriff" by the people of the United States via "The Larry King Show" in 1998. That label, combined with a spotless crime fighting record have had many hoping that "America's Sheriff" might team up with "America's Mayor" for a Giuliani/Carona Presidential ticket in 2008.

The local tab-propagand-loid that calls itself OC Weekly clearly understands the political value of Mike Carona to the Republican Party. He's a simple man who loves Jesus, his family, and his sworn duty to protect children from sick children-killers. This self styled Conservative Christian needed to be brought down, and the pesky un-embeds at the OC Weekly proceeded to crank out a non-stop litany of un fact-checked, biased, and altogether rude articles about Carona at such a obsessive pace you'd think they had a man-crush on the Sheriff. What the pseudo-intrepid go-getters at the Weekly we're to stoned and VD'd out of their minds to know was that while they were "reporting" perceived Carona gaffes, they may have been breaking the law. The National Security Law.

Those with first hand knowledge of the facts on the ground understand that Mike Carona has a brilliant crime solving mind which rivals that of Sherlock Holmes, Matlock, and Johnnie Cochran all rolled into one. His skill is his subtle genius which is hidden behind a doofus disguise. It's when he's at his worst that he's actually at his best.

Case in point: Between 2002-2004 Carona went undercover as a corrupt cop in order to gain the trust of Vegas mafioso/exotic dance club owner Rick Rizzolo and his gang. The OC Weekly printed photos of Carona in an undercover police uniform pretending to party, accept large cash contributions, even going so far as to sample strippers in Rizzolo's presence to make the criminals believe that he would be the kind of man who might throw his Christian values out the door in exchange for sex and cash. By reporting the story, the OC Weekly blew Carona's cover just like Joe Wilson blew his wife's cover as a CIA agent when he started criticizing the War On Terror.

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Notice the drink in Rizzolo's hand. Carona had slipped
the mobster a truth serum so that Rizzolo might spill
more beans than usual. Brilliant!

"OC Weekly takes things so far out of context you forget there was ever a context to begin with," complains Deli Owner/City Council Member Joe Del Fazio. Del Fazio has also been an innocent victim of several unflattering OC Weekly articles, and is not associated with organized crime whatsoever.

The far-left drug-pimps at the OC Weekly went so far as to endanger American lives in a post 9-11 world by revealing Top Secret and Confidential anti-terror-non-anti-terror training procedures in a failed attempt to crucify Sheriff Carona. The "paper" actually printed a story insinuating that Carona allowed Joseph Medawar, a con-man with ties to Saudi-Arabia and now convicted felon, to film a Top Secret Anti-Terror training exercise with three camera crews.

This, of course, was another Mike Carona master-stroke! The whole anti-terror exercise was a FAKE! Carona organized the entire phony exercise so that the Saudis would THINK they knew how America does anti-terror, but they really had no clue at all. Of course the "hate America first"-ers over at the Weekly went right ahead and let the whole plan out of the bag. (cough) Treason. (cough, cough) Later, the clueless Weekly made a big deal about how Medawar turned out to be a criminal who was later arrested by the FBI for money laundering and obstruction of justice. Good thing America's Sheriff Mike Carona got the FBI on his trail! Carona may have helped to stop another 9-11, or at least a 7-7.

The main reason for the never ending onslaught of anti-"America's Sheriff" articles in the OC Weekly is obvious. Carona's been rounding up their readers by the bus load ever since he was elected to be OC's Top Cop in 1998. The Sheriff's packed the prisons to past-full with so many perps, lowlifes, and other OC Weekly types that there are barely enough beds and nurses to take care of them all. With no access to OC Weekly in jail their number of readers has decreased to the point where they may consider skimming more than the usual 10% commission on tricks turned by the women-for-sale in their back-page classifieds. Figures like 15% have been floated about the "office".

The one and only compromising bit of information the Weekly may have unearthed about Mike Carona is his intense love of crime fighting techniques, strategies, and gadgets. The commited Sheriff's deep desire to make Orange County a shining county on a hill, as far as law enforcement is concerned, led him to become overly excited in his public enthusiasm for a crime preventing laser-gun that safely brings an end to police pursuits.

The invention was sold by CHG Safety Technologies Inc. CHG is owned by former convicted felon Charles Grabbard who now invents technologies used to catch the very criminals he used to be. Carona and CHG became such close partners in crime-fighting that it soon became very unclear where, when, and how the transactions of certain funds ended up going from CHG into Carona's campaign committee.

"Fog of War. That's all I gotta say about that," says a CHG representative. "Just stop and think for a second. Imagine a huge laser that stops crooks from getting away. Mike had stars in his eyes. No matter how much money he had to take, he was going to see those things in use...maybe even on sick child-killographers."

For a pinko one-ply, the OC Weekly sure seems have something against charity. They showed their truest colors when the the paper went after Carona for his program to enrich people's lives through the receiving of their own, official police badges. The Weekly made a big fuss over a little skirmish on a golf course involving one of Carona's honorary deputies, Raymond Yi. Yi, responding to injustice on the course, began flashing his badge and gun at other golfers. Perhaps Carona should have thought twice about giving a badge to someone as committed to preserving the peace as Yi, but the 85 other people Carona passed out official police badges to have gone on without reported, public incident. The Weekly had a problem with the "Honorary Deputy" program because it simply meant that there were 85 of Carona's most reliable and trustworthy friends, relatives, and donors hunting down and rounding up their readers.

The Weekly even managed to brainwash the most prime and legitimate newspaper in California, The Orange County Register, into nit-picking Carona's finances to near-death while the Weekly focused on the more salacious material. Spurned on by the OC Weekly's steady flow of Carona bashing, several women have banded together to form a type of "Anita Hill Task Force" in order to file multiple sexual-harassment suits against Sheriff Carona. Carona insists, "Just cause these ladies wanted to have sex with me, and I refused them, doesn't mean I committed any harassments."

The case against Carona adds up to nothing but propaganda of the worst kind being fed to the public by irresponsible college drop outs posing as journalists in order to impress girls. Despite the Weekly's obvious lack of journalistic credibility, the mainstream media has taken the bait and begun reporting the Weekly's lies as though they were the absolute truth. A justice system on the brink of shatterment has charged Carona with seven felony counts, accusing him of accepting money, high priced gifts, sports tickets, a $5,000 watch for his wife, and loans for his so-called "mistress". One fabrication sewn onto another has created the quilt of lies that the left wing media has used to pull over the eyes of Americans everywhere.

It's not only the OC Weekly. There are little "Weekly" newspapers all over this country, ready to pounce on legitimate elected officials and tear apart this country with their far-out agendas. PLN hopes you will take note, and consider making Prime Legitimate News your only source for even and honest news, all the time.

Remember! We deliver the news, you sign for it!

God bless America, and America's Sheriff.