Thursday, September 20, 2007


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American Bin Laden

Looks as though it's justice at last for Islamic extremist Jose Padilla, the man many are calling "The American Bin Laden", as he was found guilty on all charges of terrorism in a Florida court on August 16th. He will be sentenced on December 5th. Padilla and two of his Al Qaeda co-horts face lenient life sentences.
Padilla, an honorary US citizen, was held as an enemy combatant for conspiring to murder people, plant multiple radioactive dirty bombs in several US daycare centers, and fund several different Al Qaeda related groups in and around the Middle East.

Padilla was originally charged with conspiring to plant a radioactive dirty bomb, but the charge had to be dropped when prosecutors started to feel bad for Padilla in light of all the massive evidence against him that wouldn't quit piling up.

One overwhelmed member of the prosecutorial research staff, Carl S. West said during a rare break, "This man did so much terrorist activity that we can't keep track of it all. It's as if he did too much terror stuff for us to even prosecute him on it!"

Padilla's defense attorneys didn't even call any witnesses. PLN legal analyst Mike Reis points out, "The defense knew that if they called somebody to the stand and asked them if they saw any terrorists in the courtroom, it would look really bad when the witness points directly at their client."

Lawyers for the defendants made a string of bad pop-cultural references referring to Padilla's case as "a giant game if six degrees of separation based on nothing," and mocked the prosecutor's case as "snake oil". Everybody knows when defense attorneys start making references to 80's movie icons and using gutter slang like "snake oil" they're grasping for a far distant, half empty glass of lies.

Prosecutors put fourth truckloads of substantial evidence supporting the documented fact that Padilla and friends supported terrorist activities from 1993 to 2001, mostly under Clinton's watch. It took an administration so committed to protecting the people of America with an act called "The Patriot" to finally round up these sub-human threats to democracy, the flag, and a way of life that's better than any other on planet Earth.

Legal experts all across the board agree that just because Padilla never committed violent acts and wasn't involved in the terrorist attacks of September 11th doesn't mean he wasn't directly responsible for them.

Anyone who supports terrorists whether financially, politically, or metaphysically immediately falls under the same umbrella of Anti-American. Everyone agrees that if you're against America and the American way of life, you're just as bad as someone who flies an airplane into a building.

With pro-terror liberals accusing the Bush administration of "over reaching" in prosecuting obvious terrorists one fact remains clear, as illustrated by an unnamed defense department official, "In a tricky game like the War On Terror you're better off over reaching than not reaching at all."

After all, we still don't want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud.

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