Looks as though the far left wing of the Democratic party can't seem to find a way to support our troops no matter what species they are. A gaggle of way-out animal rights activists have brainwashed a handful of "concerned" citizens to carry out their anti-security, anti-war, anti-life agenda against homeland security in any of its forms. Critics of the US Navy's plan to use dolphins and sea lions to guard waters off the coast of a huge nuclear weapons base say the water will be too "cold" for the dolphins to survive in.
Dolphin boot-camp Sargent Doug King Vann leaps all over this liberal troop-smear saying, "Too cold? You think these dolphins can't take it? Ha. These animals are cross bred, well-trained killing machines. These animals can take on any intruder in any kind of water. Some of these animals have been genetically altered so as to allow them to hunt and kill out of water for a limited amount of time." (6 months)
Many local residents worry about the safety of such a program. Vann shrugs off their concerns, "Let me tell you something. These dolphins know who the bad guys are. It's a clear, detailed process:
A) The dolphin identifies a threat, notifies personnel.
B) The dolphin then interacts with the intruder.
C) Personnel comes by in order to clean up the mess."
Activist Leigh Calvez plans to dispute the proposal semi-asking, "We don't have anything as good as dolphins to protect us? That's hard to believe."
Always like the liberals to slam the troops first. A top secret Navy defense analyst says, "We as Americans should be proud to have these patriotic dolphins on our side, guarding our nuclear weapons. Hopefully, if this program is successful, the next nuclear bomb will be dropped not by a human being, but by a lovable dolphin."