Tuesday, October 16, 2007

PLN - WHY RON PAUL WILL NEVER BE PRESIDENT - PRIME TOP STORY!!

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We at PLN know what you're going to say.

Yes, he's pro-life.

Yes, he wants to build a fence between the United States and Mexico.

Yes, he'll abolish welfare, social security, as well as any and all unnecessary government bureaucracies(aka: programs & services).

BUT, there are more reasons NOT to vote for Ron Paul then there are TO vote for him.

Don't let his fake victories in numerous "opinion" polls fool you, Ron Paul is possibly the single most crazily un-electable presidential hopeful since Nicole Kidman's stalker ran for the highest office in the land. A faster-than-quick glance at Paul's platform is enough to justify his absence on any ballot.

First and foremost is his non-interventionist foreign policy. Mr. Paul believes that America should stop spreading democracy to third, fourth, and fifth world nations, ensuring the global spread of radical Islamo-fascerrorism. He sternly believes the noble War On Terror is not worth fighting. Paul even went so far as to vote against the Iraq War resolution in 2002!? He treats The Patriot Act as though it were written on used toilet paper, and has tried to renege on it several times. All of these anti-security actions have prompted many to ask whether or not Paul is actually a liberal in disguise which would explain his appeal amongst confused leftists looking for ways to get back at their fathers through irrational political radicalization.

His weak stance on National Security is also bound to cost him the important military vote. Most military experts are asking, "Why would soldiers want to elect a President that's never going to send them into battle? It's counter-intuitive."

Of course the most dangerous thing about Ron Paul are the people who actually DO support him. Seasoned political analysts spit out their drinks when they learn how much money Paul receives, and where he gets it from. Studies have found that Paul rakes in over 90% of his campaign money from "individual donations", most of which are gathered on the INTERNET(!?) through the dangerous practice of "viral marketing." Simply read the term: VIRAL MARKETING. It correctly implies that Ron Paul is a virus and those who support him are prime carriers ranging from disgruntled anarchist-liberals who secretly desire to be(or be with) conservatives, all the way to libertarians so Kool-Aided out of their minds that their tongues are forever stained by Red Dye #5.

It's common knowledge that ANY Internet support translates to: "Coo-coo! Coo-coo!" The Internet is run by people who believe the holocaust, 9/11, and Jesus never existed! Paul's popularity only goes to show you just how many insane types there really are out there.

Ernst Gennero of the United Institute for Indivisible Policy Studies knows that, "America can't afford to have a President controlled by the whims of a bunch of people. It would threaten the very democracy we hold dear. What America needs is someone like a Bush or Giuliani. A president who can stand up to the American people when they don't know what's good for them, or in this case, when they've gone 100% bat-s**t crazy."

On the aesthetic front, everyone knows he's too thin. A presidential candidate can be healthy, but the line is crossed when he can officially be referred to as "svelte". When a politician is too thin people begin to ask questions about health, diet, and/or the possible use of illegal narcotics which is common amongst paranoid, conspiracy nut-jobs.

There's even a wild card in the mix of reasons why Ron Paul will never be sworn in as leader of the free-world: his two first names. Only 4 legitimate American Presidents in history have ever been elected with two first names as first and last name.*

Eventually the American people will come to the obvious conclusion that Ron Paul is as un-electable as any of the Democratic candidates out there, with the possible exception of liberal Senator Larry Craig(D-Idaho) who expressed an interest in running for President before being outed as a bathroom-gay.

* PLN will award copies of our DVD documentary "Death of a Hitler: The Saddam Hussein Story" to the first 5 people who can e-mail us the correct 4 LEGITIMATE American Presidents who were elected with two first names.

29 comments:

hahajohnnyb said...

George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe

do I win?

Go Ron Paul!!

Anonymous said...

It's not our job to police the world. Spend that money here!!

Ron Paul is the only candidate who makes sense. I only hope Tancredo is his VP.

Ron Paul 2008

Anonymous said...

Is this a joke??

Ron Paul for President!!

Anonymous said...

You just keep following the little red ant in front of you.
my2cents

Tomb said...

Your stunningly arbitrary diatribe can be summed up with one single quote...of your own.

"The Internet is run by people who believe the holocaust, 9/11, and Jesus never existed!"

That is the most naive, inane, possibly insane, ignorant, and just plain brainless statement I have ever heard in my entire life. Let it serve to sum up your entire post.

Reading your tirade reminded me of a quote, which begs your adherence;
'Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt.'

Anonymous said...

Reading this has been the single largest waste of my time in the past two weeks! I am continually astounded at the number of misguided whack jobs who convince others that they are knowledgeable about certain subjects. Any fool who can read the CONSTITUTION will deduce that Ron Paul IS the ONLY choice for president. Otherwise we will be living in a police state. It's time to save the Constitution and the Bill of Rights before the become just a "G** D*** piece of paper" (your current presidents words).

Anonymous said...

Why the hating on Dr. Paul-- who would return us to liberty and freedom? Yes, radical Islam is scary, but you're not going to win over hearts and minds by making orphans... Research the 1950
s U.S./British overthrow of the pro-western-democratically elected government of Iran (because the then president of Iran had the nerve to nationalize there oil), and look at how we, the champions of liberty and democracy--so called, turn a blind eye to Israel's decimation of the Palestinean people. Oh yeah, our greatest middle-east allies--Saudi Arabia, Jordan, and Pakistan--true bulwarks of democracy if there ever was (note sarcasm here). Smell the coffee, ignoramus--your ideology is burying our country.
David A. Reedy...

Matt Hanson said...

I think y'all can relax. There's no way this was anything but a joke. No one is really that dense. Next you'll believe one in five Americans can't find America on a map. Ron Paul '08!

Insensitive MurĂșch said...

The only reason Ron Paul would not be elected president is because he would be running as a republican! (and this is coming from one) People are scared of how corrupt the republican party has become) He has a better chance of running as an I. He stands for everything that this country was founded on and has morals and values. And to say that he wouldn't send our troops to war is false. He said he would not send them unless they are an immediate threat. RON PAUL 2008!!!

Anonymous said...

ron paul FTW 2008!!!
[pwnzorz

Anonymous said...

dude.
your like
cool and stuff
i want to be just like you.
angry and stupid.

Dale said...

You're lame! But not as lame as this country will be if you don't vote for Ron Paul!!!

Anonymous said...

I would die protecting your right to be and say what ever you like. Doesn't mean that you are speaking the truth or living right. Ron Paul wants to take the governments nose out of our business. How could that be a bad thing? He is the only man with enough principle to pull it off. I feel there is more to Ron Paul then meets the eye. No wonder he is attacked the way he is, he stands for truth. God forbid he doesn't win. Then our biggest problem would be the next president going forth with the National ID card and the North American Union. WHICH RON PAUL IS AGAINST!! Makes sense to me.

Anonymous said...

I would die protecting your right to be and say what ever you like. Doesn't mean that you are speaking the truth or living right. Ron Paul wants to take the governments nose out of our business. How could that be a bad thing? He is the only man with enough principle to pull it off. I feel there is more to Ron Paul then meets the eye. No wonder he is attacked the way he is, he stands for truth. God forbid he doesn't win. Then our biggest problem would be the next president going forth with the National ID card and the North American Union. WHICH RON PAUL IS AGAINST!! Makes sense to me.

Anonymous said...

I'm against Ron Paul because he is anti-govt. "What's wrong with that?" someone asked. The government should be the representative for the people, and without it, corporate greed will overrun the middle and lower classes more than ever. The pendulum has swung too far towards corporate interests in Washington, let's not let it swing too far in the opposite direction. Our gov't is necessary to ensure a good quality of life and equality for everyone. America will be better with less *corrupt* gov't, not sans gov't. A balance needs to be returned. If anyone reading this hasn't already done so, check out Obama at barackobama.com. Obama has the ability to clean up Washington, bridge the left-right wings and make it work for the people again.

Free Market Underdog said...

John Tyler

Zachary Taylor

James Garfield

Chester Arthur

Nice article. Why are so many peoples' panties bunched up about it?!? Is anyone familiar with satire?!?

Not to mention that the twits who typically vote for Republocrats usually make their voting decisions on much more trivial items.

Anonymous said...

you wrote that larry craig is a Democrat. He is a Republican. get your facts straight!

Anonymous said...

Wow, The person that wrote this shouldn't be allowed to vote. I mean, basing your vote on somebody's weight, seriously.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, but the real people of the world, like me, use the internet. Anyone that listens to CNN, Fox News, NBC, ABC, and any other "public" form of media and takes it seriously is an idiot.

Adamgv said...

Check out this new Christian band that just released their first album. From what I heard on the samples site, they sound really good.

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http://ccrg.info/cas.htm

Tell All!!!

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Anonymous said...

I think Ron Paul is exactly what we need, a president who cares more about his country than foreign policy and actually wants the USA to follow the contitution again. We need to be led by a president and not the ceo's!

Jon T. Crockett said...

In the story Atlas Shrugged, a news paper columnist is critisized for writing extremely biased opinionated articles and presenting them as facts...I see no difference here.