Tuesday, March 4, 2008



She's described America as "broken", "unfix-able", and "venereal-y diseased". Her critiques of U.S. life range from, "progressively worse and worse" to "increasingly unaffordable", and "downright dangerous." Experts get the impression that when Michelle Obama thinks of the United States it makes her want to vomit in fear and rage.

Whatever she feels about her country is nothing compared to the downright disdain she feels toward the man she's married to. In the acid-fling-a-thon that is a Presidential race, many negative things are said by one candidate about another. It's rare however to see a candidate's own spouse turn around and start bashing said candidate. Michelle Obama has called her husband "stinky", "snorey", and "a bag of worms encased in human flesh."

PLN Body Language/Celebrity Relationship analyst Deirdre commends Michelle Obama for her honesty and suggests that divorce may be the only option left for the couple. "She's a lot like the Phylicia Rashad character from 'The Cosby Show'. This is clearly a woman who needs more of everything. More money, more power, more attention, but at the same time she hates the man she needs to achieve those goals."

"She's mad. What's she mad at? America, her husband...probably men in general," says psychologist Dr. Robert Jones Ralph. "People like Michelle Obama will never be happy until everyone else in the world is as miserable as they are."

At every stop on her cross country tour Michelle Obama manages to paint life as a dark cloud of foreboding misery. In Wisconsin she mourned, "For the first time in my adult life I am really proud of my country."

"What she's stating here quite clearly is that not only does she hate America, but that freedom itself is something only a child could believe in," says Reg Bartlett Host of PLN's 'Deep in the Heart.' "What she sees when she looks at our nation is a country that hit the skids sometime during the mid 1970's. A lawless land where daddy's on the drink and mommy works 4 jobs just to buy enough crack to satiate her children who wolf it down like sugar-cereal."

A few worried observers fear for Barack Obama's safety in light of Michelle having recently called her husband's candidacy a, "once in a lifetime opportunity for us to be graced by a man like him(Hussein)."

"It sounds as though she is planning to go "praying mantis" and eat her husband if he does not win this election," says Deirdre. "As much as she hates Barack now, he'll never live it down if he doesn't pull off a big win. Poor guy."

Political strategists, however, can see right through the entire plot calling Michelle Obama's love of spreading negativity, "a wonderful political strategy." Peter Thomas of the United Institute for Indivisible Policy Studies points out that, "It's exactly what cults do. Convince people their lives are miserable and offer them some phoney cure. It explains this whole cult like Obama-Mania that's gripped our nation."

He goes on to call for the unthinkable, "I never thought I'd say this but...I'm for...Hillary?" (sigh)


whomod said...

More on Obama vs. America including his entire plot:


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