Thursday, March 6, 2008


In the midst of America's most successful War On Terror ever, you'd think that Lebanon would know not to over-react to seeing a couple or more U.S. Navy ships passing just outside it's waters. Middle East and Middle Eastern experts agree that Lebanon's terrorist-insurgent political party Hezbollah would scream to the sky, if only because they couldn't throw rocks far enough to hit the routine cruise-by of three U.S. Navy warships off the coast.

The terror-confab Hezbollah has so much pull in the country that even Lebanon's Legitimate Prime Minister Fuad Saniora put up a bewildered front stating, "We did not request any warships," as though America had prankishly ordered pizzas to his house.

The U.S. Military insists that the Navy sent the the three+ ships, including an amphibious assault craft, to Lebanon in order to promote regional stability during their on-going political crisis. Lebanon's elections have been delayed 15 times as Hezbollah tries to wrestle power away from those who value Freedom and Democracy. The U.S.S. Cole was sent in solely to scare Osama Bin Laden, who could be in Lebanon, you never know.

White House spokesperson Gordon Jondroe characterized the move as, "A show of support and stability." He insists that the real wolf-in-Lebanese clothing is the anti-Christ related terror network, Hezbollah, which is a direct threat to Israel therefore America.

Hezbollah legislator Hassan Fadallah called the move, "An American threat against Lebanon," while threatening that, "intimidation will not affect us."

Middle East experts of all creeds aren't sure whether or not seeing a bunch of cool American ships shining in the brilliant Mediterranean sun will have any influence with the Lebanese people or government. Some, who may or may not be over analyzing the situation, believe that a conflict in Lebanon would actually be a proxy war between the United States/Israel Vs. Syria/Iran. This global tag team match up, many believe, would put an end to the long period of co-Arabian instability in the region.

"If Syria's panicking about these ships, maybe it's because they have a guilty conscience," observes a recently retired Defense Department official, "What they should do is get their filthy, oil-rich hands off of Lebanon."

The Lebanese election has been pushed back to March 11th, however, considering the state of things many in Lebanon are asking, "Of what year?"

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