PLN - ROBERT BLAKE TO PLAY POPE BENEDICT XVI - PRIME TOP STORY!!

In an announcement that has sent shock waves through both the entertainment and religious industries, actor Robert Blake has told reporters that he will make his comeback playing Pope Benedict XVI in the up coming bio-pic about the life of the top-level Catholic icon.

"People are tell me, 'hey you kind of look like the pope, so..." says Blake when asked why he chose this particular role.

There is all ready talk of Blake possibly earning an Academy Award, Emmy, or Association of Video Retailers Award for the role depending on whether the movie is released in theaters, on TV, or straight to video.

 

Blake doing some homemade make-up tests for the up-coming "Benedict: A Pope For All Ages"
 

 

 

"I'm the ex-Pope."

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The Prime Legitimate News Channel was formed in order to deliver the news in an even and honest manner. As the most watched news channel in America, we feel it is our duty to challenge the mainstream media. Our hard hitting team of seasoned journalists bring a sense of decency and logic to their reporting, without any of the bias. That’s what PLN is all about. Prime news. Legitimate reporting. Even. Honest. It’s that simple. We deliver the news, you sign for it!

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PLN - OBAMA ACCEPTS CIA BLACKMAIL - PRIME TOP STORY!!

On Thursday, November 6th President-elect Barack Obama met privately with U.S. Intelligence officials at the FBI headquarters in Chicago. There Obama received his first Presidential Daily Brief written by the CIA, including critical overnight intelligence that President-elect Obama will use to build his defence strategy.

Also discussed at the meeting was the fact that any moment the President could be "dealt with" by representatives higher interests if he should deviate from the agendas of the CIA, FBI, NSA, FCC, and a host of other U.S. and non-U.S. governing bodies, some known, some unknown.

Obama was then given a slide show presentation of various foreign and domestic leaders who felt it their duty to serve public interest over the needs of the rapidly emerging "New World Order". Leaders like Jacobo Arbenz of Guatemala, Salvador Allende of Chile, and a handful of Kennedys.

Obama has been sworn to secrecy so as not to reveal the content of this private meeting, however PLN's exclusive source for this story noted that Obama seemed the most surprised when he learned that John Hinkley was a hand picked, brainwashed CIA/MK ULTRA assassin sent in to keep Ronald Regan "on message."

After the slide show Obama was dosed severely with Lysergic Acid Dyethylamide, placed into an isolation tank, and reprogrammed with an entirely new outlook on the origins of life and the directions in which it is headed.

A trembling spokesperson for the Obama transition team could only say, "It was a very...enlightening meeting."

PLN - SCHWARZENEGGER GOES COMMUNIST! - PRIME TOP STORY!!

Seeing the immense popularity of RED socialist ideology in today's hip hop political culture California's Former Republican Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has decided to give California the far left viking funeral it's always wanted. By raising Ca's sales tax a full one and one entire half a percent he's sure to finish off what Brian Davis Jones of the CA Institute for Neutral Policy Research Center thinks Grey Davis started, "plunging the state headlong into psychotic & fiscal failure & insolvency."

The crackdown on prosperity will pump up the sales tax on amusement park admission, sporting events, golf, furniture, vehicles, as well as certain forms of adult entertainment.

A spokes person for the Schwarzenegger administration compared the tax hike to, "injecting anabolic steroids directly into the economy's ass cheeks." The governor's office claims that the increase will only last for three years presumably for as long as Barack Obama's term is expected to last.

CA's 11.2 Billion dollar Grey Davis induced deficit has the governor asking "Who Can't We Tax"? B. Davis Jones thinks the governor should focus on massive spending cuts like:

- Doing away with public education

- Ending all unemployment benefits, creating more incentives to work

- No more drinking fountains

Not like the Governor is listening to good advice anymore(i.e.: End of Days), but if he doesn't want to go down like another Grey Davis then he'd better start.

PLN - GAYEST RIOTS EVER! - PRIME TOP STORY!!

Thousands upon thousands of gay homosexuals took to the streets in several violent protests against the final chapter in the saga of the legitimization of illegitimate marriages. On November 4th Values Voters in California, Arizona, and Florida all approved constitutional amendments in order to save the right of a man and a woman to marry. The amendments override activist State Supreme Court judges who literally bowed down to big gay interests.

The question as to weather or not there will be penalties for the all ready 18,000 or so same-sex marrieds since CA legalized gay marriage, and how severe those punishments should be, has yet to be asked.

West Hollywood, San Fransisco, and the Inland Empire aka "The 909" in California became ground zero as thousands blocked traffic and burned, among other things, candles at so called "vigils". Along with the protesters other flaming items included cars, trash cans, and American flags in effigy.

Before the election results were released.



After.

Some activists are taking a page out of the Al Gore book of political chicanery by filing challenges in court in order to subvert democracy and Christian/Mormon values. Many of the irrational homosexuals are attacking the Mormon Church, an institution dedicated to the protection of normal marriage, by suggesting that some of their members should or should not choose to vote for pro-marriage initiatives as well as funneling approx. 20 million dollars across state lines to suggest that others do the same.

"Whatever argument they got is false," argues Values Voter Ron C. Franks of California, "God made man with a man-thing and woman with another things to put it into, not the other way around...or in the butt is what I'm saying. Gay marriage is a sin."

No fatalities have been reported as of yet, but if there are any you can be sure the liberal media will do their best to cover them up. Stay tuned to Prime Legitimate News as the bodies hit the floor.

PLN - PROTECT OUR BORDERS - PRIME TOP STORY!!

PLN ELECTION 2008 SPECIAL COVERAGE

"Illegal immigrants swarm the streets stealing jobs, raping freedoms, and leaving a trail of tall-can Modelos in their economically destructive path. It's a known fact," observes Multi-Honorable Louise Vanz Walter Chair of True Americans Against Mexican Invasion.

http://www.sendemback.com/

PLN has taken a break from covering the Presidential race to focus on the most important Senate race of the 2008 election: California's 46th District Congressional race between Republican incumbent Honorable Dana Rohrabacher and former member of the Weather Underground(semi-verified) Debbie Cook.

While the liberal media is busy covering so called important stories about fluff like a couple of harmless bank mergers and Iraq's youthful democratic growing pains, Congressman Dana Rohrabacher is dealing with the most important issue of our day(today): Immigration. With plans to build a 700 mile fence along the US Mexico border if he has to do it himself, Rorahbacher is doing more to protect our values and keep our country safe then anybody who doesn't want to build a 700 mile fence along the U.S.-Mexico border.

His long shot opponent, illegitimate small town Mayor Debbie Cook, opposes keeping illegal immigrants out of our nation and actually SUPPORTS giving them free health care, low cost housing, and great deals on cars. See her endorsement of HR 676 which is yet another far left tax-grab that would go toward the countries most lazy sick people.

A recent mailing from the Rorahbacher campaign asks the question, "Which side of the Border Fence debate are you on?" A more fitting question according to Dale Ern Smith of the Values Security Commission on Human Rights is, "What side of the Border Fence should YOU be on?"

Cook posing with illegals.

PLN - POPE MAKES DRASTIC EFFORT TO RECONCILE - PRIME TOP STORY!!

Pope Benedict XVI demonstrates to clergy the proper way to touch a child. Watchful security steps in, stopping things before they go too far.

For more PLN Pope coverage see our expose of the Blockbuster film project "Benedict: A Pope For All Seasons".

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PLN - IRANIAN NUKES NARROWLY MISS U.S. TARGETS - PRIME TOP STORY!!

Realistic Presidential hopeful John McCain called for "action" as the terrorist nation of Iran launched several pre-nuclear missiles at various U.S. related targets.

All military experts agree, "It's time."

PLN - SEN. JESSE HELMS 1921-2008 - PRIME TOP OBITUARY

Jesse Helms(R-North Carolina)
1921-2008

PLN thanks you for your life of service to the values we as Americans,

and American news reporters, hold dear.

HAPPY 4th OF JULY, AMERICA! Remember, Jesus IS the reason

PLN congratulates America on another year of Independence

from Britain's tyrannical leftist reign of secular socialism.

Even. Honest.

- Prime Legitimate News

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PLN - PLN REPORTER ACCIDENT LEAKED! - VIDEO

Someone in our editing department got a hold of this video and leaked it.

We at PLN feel as though you should see it here first, before it spreads on the internet.

PLN - CALIFORNIA HOMOSEXUALS ENSURE EASY WIN FOR McCAIN IN '08 - PRIME TOP STORY!!

California's Supreme Court has quashed the Democrat's hopes of winning back the White House in 2008 by historically ruling to end the states' ban on gay marriage. Now that same-sex couples in America's most populous state are free to tie the knot, rational Americans will see the truest threat to democracy and a decent way of life.

Liberals everywhere are warning Christians of the possible nation-wide implications for this, the most important issue since flag-burning. In response, angry patriots at the ready to defend their country against subversionist threats to the freedom of a man and woman to marry will flock to the polls in droves.

This man values freedom.

The newest poll numbers show McCain winning with 80% of the vote over which ever democratic candidate ends up receiving the nomination. That's a 30% change from the dead heat tie in the race prior to the CA Supreme Court decision.

Many see this as California's last political stand. "The state of CA has now reached a level of sin which will surely wipe it from God's earth," says T. Ryan Danelaw of the Sensible Research Institute for Faith Driven Studies in Science. "How long have we been talking about 'The Big One'? I'd be surprised if California is even around to have a say in the 2008 Presidential election."

If John McCain has anything to say about it, they won't.

PLN - DANGEROUS POLAR BEAR MENACE NEARLY TAKEN CARE OF - PRIME TOP STORY!!

The US government Wednesday listed polar bears as an endangered species, warning that melting of Arctic sea ice was threatening their habit putting an end to the polar bear's centuries-old, fearful reign of terror in ice covered lands.

Signs such as the one above have been placed around the few remaining polar bear strongholds, warning people to stay away from the dangerous man eaters until they have died off completely. Experts expect the polar bear threat to be completely wiped off the planet within the next 45 years.

It was a human baby.

PLN - CARTER STOKES MIDDLE EAST RAGE - PRIME TOP STORY!!

Former insurgent U.S. President Jimmy Carter may have brokered the first Israeli-Arab peace deal, but since there have been more Israeli-Arab peace deals than Friday the 13th movies, Carter may not be helping the volatile Middle East situation with his continued occupation of their countries.

During his mid-East tour Carter met with Hamas leader Kaled Mashaal prompting several top Israeli officials to snub Carter during his most recent visit. Not only are the Israeli leaders snubbing Carter, but they are instead deciding to hold a light-summit with the cast of "Saved By The Bell: Israel" in lieu of meeting the globetrotting ex-President.

The only high-level Israeli official to meet with Carter was Israel's ceremonial head of state Shimon Perez, who claims he only meet with Carter because, "I must have been given the wrong address. Someone is, for certain, is playing a joke on me."

While in Israel, Carter will visit Sderot the town most frequently hit by Gaza rocket attacks in order to assess the damage and report back to Hamas on the progress.

Checking the goods.

In his own defense Carter said, "I think it's important that at least someone meet with the Hamas leaders...If Israel is ever going to find peace...Hamas will have to be involved in the process."

With friends.