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PLN - LEBANON OVEREACTS TO U.S. SHOW OF SUPPORT - PRIME TOP STORY!!

In the midst of America's most successful War On Terror ever, you'd think that Lebanon would know not to over-react to seeing a couple or more U.S. Navy ships passing just outside it's waters. Middle East and Middle Eastern experts agree that Lebanon's terrorist-insurgent political party Hezbollah would scream to the sky, if only because they couldn't throw rocks far enough to hit the routine cruise-by of three U.S. Navy warships off the coast.

The terror-confab Hezbollah has so much pull in the country that even Lebanon's Legitimate Prime Minister Fuad Saniora put up a bewildered front stating, "We did not request any warships," as though America had prankishly ordered pizzas to his house.

The U.S. Military insists that the Navy sent the the three+ ships, including an amphibious assault craft, to Lebanon in order to promote regional stability during their on-going political crisis. Lebanon's elections have been delayed 15 times as Hezbollah tries to wrestle power away from those who value Freedom and Democracy. The U.S.S. Cole was sent in solely to scare Osama Bin Laden, who could be in Lebanon, you never know.

White House spokesperson Gordon Jondroe characterized the move as, "A show of support and stability." He insists that the real wolf-in-Lebanese clothing is the anti-Christ related terror network, Hezbollah, which is a direct threat to Israel therefore America.

Hezbollah legislator Hassan Fadallah called the move, "An American threat against Lebanon," while threatening that, "intimidation will not affect us."

Middle East experts of all creeds aren't sure whether or not seeing a bunch of cool American ships shining in the brilliant Mediterranean sun will have any influence with the Lebanese people or government. Some, who may or may not be over analyzing the situation, believe that a conflict in Lebanon would actually be a proxy war between the United States/Israel Vs. Syria/Iran. This global tag team match up, many believe, would put an end to the long period of co-Arabian instability in the region.

"If Syria's panicking about these ships, maybe it's because they have a guilty conscience," observes a recently retired Defense Department official, "What they should do is get their filthy, oil-rich hands off of Lebanon."

The Lebanese election has been pushed back to March 11th, however, considering the state of things many in Lebanon are asking, "Of what year?"

PLN - OBAMA VS. AMERICA - PRIME TOP STORY!!

She's described America as "broken", "unfix-able", and "venereal-y diseased". Her critiques of U.S. life range from, "progressively worse and worse" to "increasingly unaffordable", and "downright dangerous." Experts get the impression that when Michelle Obama thinks of the United States it makes her want to vomit in fear and rage.

Whatever she feels about her country is nothing compared to the downright disdain she feels toward the man she's married to. In the acid-fling-a-thon that is a Presidential race, many negative things are said by one candidate about another. It's rare however to see a candidate's own spouse turn around and start bashing said candidate. Michelle Obama has called her husband "stinky", "snorey", and "a bag of worms encased in human flesh."

PLN Body Language/Celebrity Relationship analyst Deirdre commends Michelle Obama for her honesty and suggests that divorce may be the only option left for the couple. "She's a lot like the Phylicia Rashad character from 'The Cosby Show'. This is clearly a woman who needs more of everything. More money, more power, more attention, but at the same time she hates the man she needs to achieve those goals."

"She's mad. What's she mad at? America, her husband...probably men in general," says psychologist Dr. Robert Jones Ralph. "People like Michelle Obama will never be happy until everyone else in the world is as miserable as they are."

At every stop on her cross country tour Michelle Obama manages to paint life as a dark cloud of foreboding misery. In Wisconsin she mourned, "For the first time in my adult life I am really proud of my country."

"What she's stating here quite clearly is that not only does she hate America, but that freedom itself is something only a child could believe in," says Reg Bartlett Host of PLN's 'Deep in the Heart.' "What she sees when she looks at our nation is a country that hit the skids sometime during the mid 1970's. A lawless land where daddy's on the drink and mommy works 4 jobs just to buy enough crack to satiate her children who wolf it down like sugar-cereal."

A few worried observers fear for Barack Obama's safety in light of Michelle having recently called her husband's candidacy a, "once in a lifetime opportunity for us to be graced by a man like him(Hussein)."

"It sounds as though she is planning to go "praying mantis" and eat her husband if he does not win this election," says Deirdre. "As much as she hates Barack now, he'll never live it down if he doesn't pull off a big win. Poor guy."

Political strategists, however, can see right through the entire plot calling Michelle Obama's love of spreading negativity, "a wonderful political strategy." Peter Thomas of the United Institute for Indivisible Policy Studies points out that, "It's exactly what cults do. Convince people their lives are miserable and offer them some phoney cure. It explains this whole cult like Obama-Mania that's gripped our nation."

He goes on to call for the unthinkable, "I never thought I'd say this but...I'm for...Hillary?" (sigh)

PLN - CAMPAIGN SMEAR TACTICS SINK TO NEW LEVEL - PRIME TOP STORY!!

Recent changes in the tone of Presidential political campaigning has caused PLN to begin looking for culprits. Someone, perhaps a person who has something to gain from slandering a close rival, released this picture to the mainstream media:

The photo shows Democratic front-runner Barrack Obama at a rare Kenyan Voodoo ceremony which blended pure African blackness with traditional terrorist-Muslim elements. Many experts suggest that releasing pictures such as this one:

...during a high stakes election might have been an attempt by someone who would like to see Barrack Obama lose popularity with rational, peace-loving Americans who might come to the conclusion that Obama is playing on every other team but our own.

The Hillary Clinton campaign, which has yet to take responsibility for the smear, has yet to admit to leaking the picture which shows Obama during his Madrasa days, paying homage to several false gods during an honorary indoctrination ceremony.

We at Prime Legitimate News think that it is shameful for anyone in a public position to use such graven images of pure evil to further their own political careers. To use an incriminating photo from a respected man's past in order to make a cheap, albeit true, point is nothing more than smear mercantilism in it's lowest form.

Hopefully someone will emerge from the rabble to straight-talk us through this horrible mud slinging contest.

PLN - VIDEO GAME REVIEW - GHOST RECON: ISLAND THUNDER - PRIME TOP STORY!!

"Havana, 2009. Castro is dead, and Cuba reels from a power vacuum. The Ghosts - an elite team of U.S. Army Green Berets - are deployed. Their mission: halt the drug-funded warlord from sabotaging the island republic's first free elections in decades."

- From the box of Ghost Recon: Island Thunder

PLN is taking a break from the rough and tumble work of covering the news in an even and honest manner to bring you our first PLN Video Game Review. This time around we're heading into the vaults to review Tom Clancy's GHOST RECON 2: ISLAND THUNDER for the XBOX.

As promised, Ghost Recon delivers the ultimate jungle warfare experience. As the instruction manual states, "Fidel Castro's heirs have been unable to keep the fire of his revolution burning, and a popular uprising has toppled the communist regime." To counteract those who wish to irresponsibly impose their political will through "subversion, violence, and open revolution" the Ghosts are called in.

Somebody order some Democracy?

Stated simply - the Ghosts are a group of patriotic fire-brands with the tools and talent enough to get the job done in Cuba with or without the help of congress, administrational oversight, or air support. These elite warriors are freedom fighting super men armed with the sweetest US-made war technology you've never dreamed existed. Ooooh, to hear these machine guns pop off as some punk tries to defend his tobacco plantation in the name of anti-democracy is enough to make me wish that either myself, or my grandchildren will someday experience the thrill of liberating Cuba. Just hearing the words "enemy down" come through the speaker sends a chill up my spine and the peace of mind knowing that the struggle for freedom burns inside those who actually fight the wars and those who experience combat in the comfort of their own homes.

It all begins with a beautiful cinematic tribute to the tropical glory of Cuba's coastline as the Ghosts arrive on shore. As these seasoned contractors and soldiers alike admire the majestic beauty of Cuba's newly liberated foliage they begin to take enemy fire. Not a likely scenario, but since it's a video game I'll suspend my disbelief.

Look at the background details!
That's one of Cuba's 2,362 cars.

Even the top notch cinematics are no match for the accurate and awe inspiring game environments. The amount of God's glory tossed out on this island makes this gamer wonder why it hasn't been a part of the United States all along. Not long after you're stunned by the games depiction of Cuba's splendor, filthiness, and possibilities for tourist megabucks, your mission begins.

Mission: Kick ass and take names...or not. The discovery you soon make is that Cuba cannot be liberated enough. There are initially 18 tasks in Ghost Recon, but the completion of them unlocks more content, more liberation. War is a game of inches and these underarmed, scrappy insurgents won't give them up without at least pretending they hate Freedom. The great thing about being an American soldier is that our weaponry so much out-blasts the tinker toys the Cubans have. It's almost as if they're using the same guns Oswald killed Kennedy with. Makes you think.

As a soldier, you're told not too get to close. Don't become too attached. You never know who's going to make it back. However, one member of my Bravo Team has turned out to be my favorite of the whole elite Ghost Squadron. His name is Shawn Cressler. He's a thick, tough, go-getter who is willing to to what it takes in order that the kill is made and the team gets home safely. If we got back to the States, I'd for sure call him up and go for a beer at least once or twice a year. We'd tell stories and watch each others kids grow up in the name of Freedom. That's how in-depth Ghost Recon: Island Thunder is. I'm crying as I write this review.

Just like being there!

The only drawback to Ghost Recon: Island Thunder is the suspicious fact that the voice over of your commanding superior officer sounds exactly like insurgent Presidential candidate Barrack Hussein Obama. Maybe it's time for the games developer Ubi Soft to do a quick sweep of their work force.

If you have and XBOX or XBOX 360, you've got to get this game! It's available USED at most Game Stop and EB Games stores for only $3.99!

Play the game. Learn the mission. Execute.

I give Ghost Recon: Island Thunder a...

A+ out of 5!

PLN - CASTRO 2 CASTRO - PRIME TOP STORY!!

One hundred percent of the Cuban population flooded the "streets" in order to celebrate the resignation and even more imminent death of American enemy Fidel Castro this week. Those hoping that the power shift would result in positive economic change had their hopes double-dashed as Raul C. Castro wrestled power away from the Cuban people once again with a promise to consult Fidel on all major decisions. A puppet Parliament approved the re-coup under threat of death and/or rape.

The world community at large shares the disappointment of the Cuban people and U.S. State Department. State Department spokesperson Andrew Balkovitch echoed that universal opinion stating, "I'm disappointed that this transition of power did not completely capsize Cuba's political system, plunging the country into uncontrollable chaos the likes of which could only be stopped by preemptive American invasion."

Now, the world waits to see what kind of leader Raul Castro will be. He was named President by Cuba's National Assembly which conducts most of their meetings and votes under pressure of firing squad. Many liken Raul Castro to an evil version of Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf whose teddy bear exterior conceals a fang-laden superbest ready to strike down freedom at the drop of a hat.

Most experts saw the leadership change coming as Castro's power has declined as steadily as his health ever since the blessed day he announced that he would cede power to his brother while undergoing intestine surgery, multiple blood changes, and a series of pancreas transplants.

Fellow blood-thirsty dictator with ties to Al Qaeda in Iran, Hugo Chavez of Peru, said the the change in Cuba was occurring, "without any type of trauma." A reference to the murderous throngs of Chavez supporters who have kept him in power ever since he unconstitutionally wrestled control of Venezuela away from democratically elected Pedro Carmona in 2002.

As for Castro he was quoted as saying, "My conscience was cleared, and I promised myself a vacation." Seems like just about everybody in Cuba's looking to escape.

PLN thanks you for your support!!

Congratulations to all who helped us once again win the very real

WAR ON CHRISTMAS

We couldn't have done it without the help of our viewers across

the world and in heaven.

Thank you all so much for beating back the secular, far-left, paganistic

tide that is trying to sink our great nation into a pit of sinful darkness the

likes of which would ensure the ruination of the greatest country

Christ ever created.

Have a blessed New Year!

- The Prime Legitimate News Team